This entire Covid-19 thing has been a major learning lesson. I am one that enjoys spending time with loved ones and friends...dining, going out, shopping and just living life. And after, IDK, a week or two of not being able to do that I had like a minor meltdown. LOL! No but really.
Remember the first round of quarantine and social distancing posts were like "you're lazy if you don't start a business, learn this, blah blah...", so I rode that wave and then I had my meltdown because I was sick of being in the house and everyone and everything had me on edge. I had reasons to be mad...but I also fully acknowledge that I was mad and sad about very dumb things.I think around the time of my personal tipping point, came the second round of quarantine posts, "don't do anything but focus on your mental health, self care, self care...just do what you can. You don't have to learn anything, f*ck life we are all gonna die anyway". Of course I felt some of that was relatable too. "This virus really came allllll the way over here, and now we're stuck in the house. Wow." right?
At that point I was completely torn, like "okay Asia, are we doing something?!? Or nothing?!?!?" I mean I didn't like the idea of doing "nothing", but I figured I had to get the "nothing" out. In my mind "nothing" was like a Rites of Passage. Instagram had managed to sell me "nothing" and I bought it.
So, I decided to do 1 full day of nothing. I was still on social media (I love Twitter) but aside from that I think I talked to 2 of my closest friends, my mom and the person I'm dating. Even then, I didn't talk too much. I wanted to speak with those close and dear to me but I felt I was missing something...something I can only give myself because at this point there's no outlet. I was in yoga pants and wearing the same Yeezy's everyday. Running to Target every other day turned into like some sort of magical, enchanted escape. Yeah, it was bad. Running out of spinach was the highlight of my day.
Anyway, I gave myself a day to focus on what I needed to do to get myself out of this odd feeling place. I listened to my feelings and inner self. I revisited my career (and salary goals). I feel like I may have even cried and said "I hate it here" a few times because I'm quite dramatic. But again, I didn't do anything at all. I had plans, but I didn't even bother writing them down because that was going to be my final day of "nothing". Umm, so my nothing day was on a Sunday. Nothing felt good. I was pumped. All of that sulking in sorrow, boredom and silence made Monday so lit.
Umkay, so Marvelous Monday rolled on in and I decided it definitely felt like the day to do...SOMETHINGGGGGGG. I was super pumped. My thoughts, goals and even self-worth realigned and I decided to move my ServiceNow Certified System Admin exam wayyyyy up to that Wednesday. Looking back, doing it this way kept me so busy that even if I begin to get bored or sad I wouldn't have even noticed because studying was the only thing on my mind. I studied all night and day. I restarted the entire course and took fresh notes as a way to test myself on what I knew. Shockingly, much of the information stuck and I was able to fill in my notes and complete sentences before the instructor did.
Fast forward to Wednesday, I passed my test in under 30 minutes. I cried, I was so happy. Like, finally, something good happened.This single accomplishment literally changed my entire perception of the quarantine. These times are very telling. Being in the house most of the days without our usual outlets allows you to think and analyze so much. I think it's important to allow yourself to go through motions and "feel things"...all things. Good or bad. But you cannot stay stuck in a bad place. It's okay to acknowledge something being F'd up or being unusual. And with this social distancing and closures its very easy to get worked up about nothing. One day I nearly cried because I haven't been able to get sushi (I know there are sushi spots open but I for some reason don't want my goddamn sushi delivered). And I acknowledge that I am speaking from a fairly fortunate side...I haven't experienced any direct impact from COVID-19 but idle time and being unproductive could've been spiraling.
To conclude, take from both posts and make the improvements you wish to see in your life. You can gain a new skill at your own pace. You can start a business while practicing self-care. You're certainly capable of being productive and aligned with your feelings. If you start something and find yourself having a moment of hopelessness, rest. Take an hour. Take a day, but don't delay your plans and goals too long.
Its never too late, as long as you're alive and free you can always change your situation.
Since sulking in that lil dark place, making that one step...to get that one certification really fueled me. I am going to use the remainder of quarantine to learn, develop skills and help you guys via In Tech She Trust. I have actually written a total of 2 examinations leading to certification (ServiceNow Certified System Administrator and Oracle Autonomous Database Specialist. Both free courses with free exam vouchers. Head back over to the Resources section) and its not because I am necessarily smarter than anyone else, but I reached a realization that I want to ease back into "normalcy", better than I came in. I am coming back outside as a bad b*tch. But also, I am not getting anymore certs after this for the remainder of the year. I aimed to do 2-4 certifications while social distancing because when outside reopens, ITS LITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Thanks,
In Tech She Trust